Welcome to the Office
Somewhere between "Main St Dental" and a private jet, there's a rollup with your name on it. Hire staff, buy Initiatives, and chase the Exit — every season gets a little bigger, and a little more absurd.
now operating as Chairside Capital · flagship:
+$2.00 per click
Hire staff and locations. Each hire raises the next one's price, and each role has a cap for the season — once you're fully staffed, growth comes from the next tier up, or from a bigger season. New hires pile up cash until you tap Collect — or unlock the matching Initiative to automate them.
One-time moves that change the math for good — several of these also put a generator's cash collection on autopilot.
Cash on hand unlocks capital-allocation decisions. Each option has a different cost, payoff and catch — and there's no right answer, only the kind of DSO you're building.
Sit through a message from today's "sponsor" for a surprise reward — usually a boost, sometimes cash, a desk card, or a small permanent bump.
[Pete: this stands in for a rewarded-video ad slot. The Claude Artifact host's content security policy blocks real ad network scripts (AdSense, Ezoic, etc.), so this button simulates the same "watch something, get a boost" mechanic. If you move the game to your own hosting, swap this handler for a real rewarded-ad SDK call — the boost logic underneath doesn't need to change.]
Gamble on a bulk order of gloves. Mostly pays off — sometimes it doesn't.
Codes from Dental Strategy Institute resources add a permanent production boost.
Demo codes for this prototype: BENCHMARK25 and PLAYBOOK10. [Pete: swap these for real codes tied to your newsletter / Benchmark Index / licensing funnel, and add the real link here.]
Cash out at $10.00M enterprise value for a permanent bonus on your next company. Each season's target climbs a bit from the last. You also personally pocket 8% of the sale price, forever — that's your lifetime net worth, untouched by resets.
Gift boxes pop along the way as the bar fills — tap a glowing one to open it.
Purely cosmetic. Nobody's checking.
Once you've exited enough times, institutional LPs will back a bigger fund. Sacrifice your Serial Entrepreneur points for permanent LP Track Record — a much bigger bonus, applied to every company you build from here on.
🔒 Exit 0 / 3 times to unlock fund-raising.
Random desk clutter drops while you play. Collect it all for small permanent bonuses — complete a full set for an extra kicker. Permanent, like the Trophy Case.
Buy enough of a role and a specific person starts showing up under it. Purely cosmetic flavor with a small permanent bonus — nobody’s getting fired.
Small permanent bonuses for playing (and clicking) too much. They persist through every Exit and Fund Raise — only a full save reset clears them. A few are hidden until you stumble into them.
Unlocks as your enterprise value climbs. Spoilers stay hidden until you get there. Every season you complete stays in the guide for good.
Bragging rights across every player, ranked three ways. Your stats submit automatically at each Exit and IPO — no account, just a name.
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Scores are lightly sanity-checked server-side (elapsed time, plausible jumps) — this is a fun leaderboard for a satire game, not a tamper-proof one.
Somewhere between "Main St Dental" and a private jet, there's a rollup with your name on it. Hire staff, buy Initiatives, and chase the Exit — every season gets a little bigger, and a little more absurd.